Y'know. I never like to hate somebody. It makes me feel like a sore loser. It could ruin my mood like crazy & I wouldn't even know what to fix, and without knowing it, I'll just hate myself for what I am. I'm sorry for what I've said or typed. I know that it's not something really nice for something that you didn't do. Hey you, I'm sorry. It feels hell lot better, now.

Mummy got me a white adidas shoe ! awwwww. Gotta love mummy (:

I have this feeling that I will just flunk my literature for the second time in my whole 3 years and 7months and 29 days. Oh crap. But I know I would since last night for it was one A.M. & I wasn't even touching act two scene one. The last three papers had gone well, at least, it's passable & just like that, literature came and shattered all my hopes. I hate it when people say that Literature is something that doesn't require brain. Ohhhhh fuck you. You're just jealous that your brain is too small for your elective. Yes, literature is all about english but mind you, it's pretty much a hard subject for me. For instance, today's paper. Speaking about that, I passed my physics practical by one mark. awwwww, gotta love Mrs tan (:

I can't wait for evan almighty on saturday ! oh, my sis is having her examination, too, that day. Oh well, too bad I can't accompany my mom to watch her do. All the best aye sis. We are the witonos, course you could enter secondary one.

Meanwhile, I shall touch my dusty amaths 10-year series .

I'm like somehow done with ss after much swearing, almost-tear -ing & all. Argh. I'm so irritable toda. I could just swallow a human right away. It's random , really. Usually, I'm a nice being. like fuck it.

I'm fucking fucking fucking fucking not proportionate. wearing skinny jeans is a horrendous thing to do for fats spill. like fuck it, too.

Besides, the much swear-able day, I'm going out with baby next saturday ! yayyyyyy. finally, something to be happy about. I swear I'll really really really go on diet and exercises. I'll brush away every food my mom offers me ! it's fucking depressing, really.

now , im going back to chem. like fuck it.

English prelim is like done and get over with ! I'm just crossing my fingers that my situational writing is right. Nevertheless, it's really alright ! Way way wayyyyy better than my MYE or MOCK ! hee-hee. hope it's a good sign. Studying is pretty much addictive now. Amaths especially. Well maybe it's because it has yet to come to the difficult part. I'll study SS later on.

Mom is like talking wayyyyyyy too much for a normal human being. No wonder no one could stand her in office. She could nag & nag about the same old shit. ish. Well, I still love her for getting me the skinnies, I just have yet to adjust to it. Yes, what kind of man adjust to their clothes instead. Well, ta-da, you're seeing one ! it's a must must. & I'm trying effingly hard. Anyway, after O . I swear, promise, I will join sprees ! & go phillipines ! huahua.

Does it hurt to know Ithat I won't be there ? It's you. It's you who chose to end it like you did. I swallowed too much of my own pride for you. Never again will I miss you. Suck that up, sucker

Tralala human beings.

So, I skipped school today for the second time of the week. Yeah, I'm a habitual school-skipper. Today was different, though. If it wasn't for my stupid gastric/crap/mere stomachache + headache brought about by much studying for today's test the night before, I would have gone. Oh well, whatever. wasn't much of a productive day today sicne I've spent half the day painting my bag. Oh well.

Mummyyyyyyyyyyyyyy and daddy are here ! Yes yes ! They arrived yesterday ! & as usual, they brought lots of food with them. &&&&&&&& My mom, oh she's such a lovely. She got me two mango skinnies ! green & yellow ! awwwww. ain't she great or what ? haha. and she was like " you're happy that your mom brought you some clothes? " ( eited to good english, or you will go all banana ) . Gawd, she's so cute ! :)

Prelim english papers are tomorrow ! Good luck every bhadeeeeeeh ! Hope I'll not fall asleep for comprehension. anyone knows about what's on for compo ? oh well. anyway. I should spend time for ss since it's around the corner.

okay, bye now . Oh !
pssssst ! I miss baby (:

You just can't help but to succumb to despondency when you got hit , again, because of the same reason. Well, I thought, I'm not the one with issue. But, who am I kidding ? I'm an emotionally disturbed asshole. I can't see it, let alone feel it, but there's just that something in me. Something that's so repulsive. Something that's disgusting. It insinuated its way to my mind and set form solid aches in my head and heart. I can't blink it away, no, it keeps on coming back. I don't even want to look back to see what I've done. I'm just glad that I can't see past mine, and I fucking hope it could blur my mind and memories , too. well, the sad news is ; I'll go with this God-knows-what with me everywhere I go, at every turn. I can't change it, for I don't know what is it, but I know there's it. Then again, I thought to myself. oh, what the fuck. What the worst I could expect from this? Nothing. It only spells I'm lousy. That's all and that's it. I just have to live with it. or rather, you guys just have to live and deal with it. I'm sorry.

This changed the whole perspective of seeing things. It cuts my heart, really. oh what vthe fuck.

I want to be a lil ambitious today.

. POA , chemistry & Social studies. I'll have to do incomplete records & do notes on many many chapters , not forgetting, practises. Chemistry, well, I have to get to the bottom of it & try knowing 'em assholes by heart. Social studies !! It's in a week time , so, buckle up.

. No eating, well more like, go grab apples . For the fact of how not-in-shape am I , just came to my knowledge. Whoever created mirrors, I hate you for creating something so honest. Yes, even my slanted mirror can't lie about it. Rawrrr. So suck it up, girl. 7 please , oh please. Stop stocking junk food.

So the other day, okay, not really, just yesterday, my sister and I talked about how theoritical is praying could do you success. I mean, I'm not saying I don't believe in him. But seriously, I'm just a lil too timid for something so wide and packed. Besides, what makes me so special. To Him, I might just be another plump girl with shallow mind. As much as my trepidation could stop me from thinking, hey, I'm still a lousy human being. I feel, yes. Maybe He's too busy, I mean, there are new every day. If my luck holds, my life will go sailing smooth. Back to the topic. So yes. Success is , like, 80% your efforts & 20% luck. If you failed, your homies will think " Hey, she didn't put efforts into it, anyway " , instead of like " aww, she didn't pray hard enough ". You guys got what I mean ? Crap , these words are too prosaic to draw what I'm saying. whatever.

Right, see you 12 more hours. or not.

Today seems to be the perfect time to tell you how important you are.
I love you because you make my heart skips a beat everytime you hold my hand.
I love you because you stand through thick and think with me.
I love you because you make me feel special in every single thing you do.
I love you because you do care about me & how I feel.
I love you because you're my sunshine.
I love you because you're my wonderful boyfriend.
I love you because you are marcus, & not any other guys.

Happy a month baby.
Thanks for everything . (:

Oral's done ! Like a muthafuckingly yayness luhhhh. :D . Whoever cares whether did I do well or not, point is , it's has gotten overdone with and soon be forgotten. yaaaayyy ! thanks for dilah sayang for 30 minutes of her life showing me that shame is not needed in the game. thanks babe ! I would have given you the fried rice if it wasn't for our diferent recess (:

I had a talk after that with my form teacher after that. Well, if I were in all fucked up mood, I would just have ignored what you said and just nodded to every single sentence you spilled.

moving on ... Hailey & Dionne are like the most supportive and helpful and blah blah bffs I could ever get ! Today would probably be an unbearable on if it wasn't for you babes. God, you don't know how I'm thankful everyday knowing that you, girls, would always be there. Come rain & shine . that, I like (:

so yes. You could see that today's a very good day despite the idea of the thrown away and not-fulfilled-life's- purpose of my fried rice. No sweat, really. You can't force it when you don't want it, ain't it ? Besides , it's a lesson to learn not to cook for one , unless you got their permission. Life goes on. Anyway, sister said it's nice & she couldn't cook like that, yet. sooooo. Guess, I made people happy ? ^_^v

Can't believe people still read my blog. I mean, other than Hailey & Dionne probably.

It's rather saddening , sort of frankly. anyway. " I appreciate you" girl & " at least, you put in effort " girl will always be there, that I know. & I love them so fucking much . Maybe I should start by trying to get my brother to eat what I've cooked. well, screw it, life goes on , aye.

Aku cinta Adilah , Dionne & Hailey ! nadhirah, too ! :D

HAPPY BIRTHDAY JO !!! i love you and you and you and you (:

Janet got A1 for hers, and so i screwed up my malay O. No big deal, really. I mean, yes, it's a no-monkey business then again, I knew that three is the one for the past .. 2 months . and hence, it's so passe. It's okay, everyone. we're retaking , anyway, right ? no shame on it when everyone , no exception is re-taking. Congrats to Dilah, nadhirah, athirah and ati though. aku bangga ngan korang. (: .

Cheeks're wet with tears. Broken hearts. Screams of joy. Hugs. held hands. We are in this together. Gone are the days before 28th July. Life Goes On.

still, I'm just. argh. fuck that, alright.

I know, I know. But since I've already broke it, might as well put a nice end to it.

so I had this JC-poly talk with my tutor the other time. & after much debates, we came to a conclusion that : It does not matter where you go. You will end up doing the same thing like any other. Having to work hard like anyone else. So really, I still have no idea of where to go, but I could try to fit JC into the picture, or even,Poly. Any one. Main tension : Olevel. errrrh, I just feel like studying at home every day. mmmhhhh.

I wonder if you care at all. Oh well, let's just see, alright. At least it's longer.


BYE NOW ! really really really bye ! (:

I know that I've said that blog would be abandoned, but hey, at least I didn;t pick it up on the very next day, right ? heeee.

So, anyway. Life's been so hectic. Got no time for this & got no time for that. Even this, God, this feels so wrong. Oh well. The past few days had been a blur, 24 hours feel too short to be lived up. It's not like I have a choice, really. To get into JC, there's only a way, no highway or yours. By studying. So here I am, dropping almost everything I do daily out of my list. Yes you heard me right, JC . On the other hand, school's so much fun . It feels like an amusement park that I could go daily without having to pay. Family is coping up very well, too. Best friends that I could never live without & baby always be there to be the scaffoldings. That, I like (:

anyhow, this post is actually supposed to be one as a dedication for Korean Hostagees. I hope things will be fine, alright. I don't know what to say, really. It slashed my heart hearing stories about terrorism. People could be so selfish and heartless, at times.

mmmh. & bestfriend, we couldn't help but simply to notice that we are drifting apart. I'm sorry. It's partially or completely my fault. & I will be careful when I promise something next time. Some promises are too out-of-this-world to be lived up , too. And , is my promise.

Oh, here are the latest obsession :
DONUTS ! ( mum's coming. so ... DUNKIN DONUTS ! )
new mp3 / ipod

Because prelim is not the end of the world, there's still Olevel.